Thursday Night's Performance: Moderation

What a night.

What can I say, everyone did SO well! You all shined to the best of your abilities :) I can't wait to see the marks because you will all soar to new heights. With so little stuff-up's which weren't even recognisable (well maybe the cards but that's it :P) all is fine.

As for me, I can't say the same. Okay this is going to sound SO dumb but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since it happened last night. I've been in a shithouse mood ever since it happened so sorry to all the people that have had to encounter that. Dunno if most of you are aware or not but when I came out to do my monoluoge last night my phone started to ring in my pocket. Sure it was on silent and all but it was vibrating.

This really fudged me up because I have spent months with this my monologue! I have worked SO hard to get this to look and sound SPOT ON and it's kind of like all that hard work was thrown away. All I could concerntrate on was my phone ringing. I couldn't show emotion, facial expressions, movement or make sure my lines were spaced apart; all I could do was say my lines and this TOTALLY SUCKED!

I must sound like a total whinger and it's almost like I can't even believe I'm thinking like this; but at the moment it's all I can think about. Everyone did so well so the fact that this is all I can think about makes me really selfish and I'm kicking myself for that. What's worse is I've had so many people ask me "Why wasn't your phone turned off" or "What was it doing in your pocket anyway" and "You could have used it ringing and improvised"? If I hear one of these things again I'll FREAK! I couldn't think and I can't turn back time and change this so I'll just have to deal with it.

Sorry you's had to hear all this shit but I needed to say it because it's driving me up the wall. Good luck with our last performance tonight; we'll all break a leg!